I really believe in mentoring relationships, it is kind of my passion. Research shows that having a mentor or a role model in your life can improve positive outcomes and decrease negative outcomes. Mentoring can help in a school setting, the workplace, or in the community. These relationships can help behaviors and beliefs, but there is not much research on mentors of romantic relationships.
Do you have someone you look up to for modeling or advice about romantic relationships? If you do, what makes them your ideal mentor? If you don’t, can you think of someone you would like to have as your romantic relationship mentor?
My romantic relationship mentors are my parents, I know, really original right? But, it probably isn’t for the reasons you might think. My parents’ relationship isn’t perfect, maybe not even average, but they make it work. I am pretty sure they both drive each other insane, but they are so committed to each other and their family, that they accept each other for who they are and love each other in spite of it. They argue, a lot, but they always end up discussing and finishing on a good note.
I ask my parents for advice sometimes and based on their past experiences (in May they will have been married for 29 years), I know I can trust their ideas and suggestions. Having them as a resource is very valuable and I am very lucky to have parents with a good relationship that they keep working at.
I know some people might not have been as lucky as I was growing up, and some couples may not be surrounded by positive relationships, but instead by negative relationships. BE AWARE of the relationships around you. KNOW (and have realistic expectations about) what you want your relationship to be like. DECIDE to look for someone you can look up to and trust to help you with advice and suggestions.
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