Absence Makes the Heart Grow Families #2

Back in March, I made a post about how my husband and I had decided to start trying to get pregnant.  Since then, I’m please to say that we were successful in our mission for pregnancy!  However, I wrote that last post as if to say that there are two phases 1) Not having a child and 2) Having a child.  Not realizing what a transition phase this would be – I completely left out the changes that happen during the pregnancy!  A few humorous ones that come to mind are:

1) Suddenly my husband cares more about what I eat than I do!? i.e. “Honey, I don’t think the baby likes cookie dough.” 🙂

2) My husband benevolently decided that he would be willing to share his “man” room with the baby, i.e. the baby’s room is also the “man” room.

3) Running a yellow light is no longer just running a yellow light its “endangering the baby!” 🙂

Turns out I’m not one of those “glowing” pregnant ladies that has everything wonderful to say about pregnancy – in fact, I’ve become down-right witchy at times! 🙂

While I take a few jabs at my husband and myself for a little humor, I say these as a representation of so many other things that are gently changing in our lives.  Getting used to the thought of sharing life as we know it with another being is chief among them.  While the arrival of the baby is the major transition point, the pregnancy also offers challenges.  After looking at several websites – I’ve developed some tips of my own (3 for guys and 3 for gals) to help maintain a healthy marriage while you’re experiencing this thing called pregnancy.

Gal-Tips

1) Remember that some things you say are actually irrational…and its ok to laugh about that. 🙂

2) Your husband/significant other  could have a hard time understanding what you’re going through, so be patient as he learns.

3) If your husband/significant other does become a little ‘overprotective’ of you, take that as a sign of his love for you and the child you’re bringing into the world.   (Research shows that this is actually pretty normal.)

Guy-Tips

1) Try to be understanding that your  wife/significant other  is going through many changes, many of which she has no control over.

2) If you don’t normally do much inside the house, know that helping with just a few things will give you big gains with your lady.

3) Get as involved with the pregnancy as you can; the more you show her you care, the less anxious she might be for the future.

I won’t pretend to have all the answers to your pregnancy woes, I’m only part way through after all, but at the very basic – try to remember the reasons you originally connected with your partner and that should help center what can be a very chaotic time in your life.  🙂

Charlsey Mahle

GRA, Alabama Community Healthy Marriage Initiative

Thanks to the following websites for some of these great tips, and to Michael Shipley for his article “Tips for men by men: How to really help you wife through pregnancy”.

http://pregnancy.more4kids.info/124/pregnancy-and-marriage/

http://marriage.ygoy.com/2010/04/06/what-are-the-most-common-marriage-issues-during-pregnancy/

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