Hello everyone. Many of you have been awaiting my long, anticipated follow up. A lot has occurred since the last time we spent time together in the World of WordPress. However, I am still enjoying the journey of being single. A few of you may have just noticed that this is the second part of a blog that I posted earlier this year. If you have yet to read it, please feel free to follow the previous link at your leisure.
I was recently asked, “When are you going to slow down to find love and happiness?” I began to answer with my usual reply of “whenever love and happiness speeds up to find me.” Then, I had a thought that this person may be in need of a deeper revelation. Thus, I shared with them and thought that I should adapt my response into a blog entry. So, here we are.
A relationship is comprised of two people with separate identities, thoughts, and personalities. For a relationship to be healthy, the individuals forming the relationship must be healthy. The National Extension Relationship and Marriage Educational Network, NERMEN, lists seven areas of focus for the start and maintenance of healthy relationships based on decades of research on marriage quality. These have become known as the NERMEN Core Components of a Healthy Relationship and Marriage. Care for Self is one of these concepts. It emphasizes the importance for individuals to maintain physical, mental, and sexual health and wellness to assure that they are the healthy persons they should be for themselves and their partners. These are not practices that just magically fall into place when relationships are started. It is a lifestyle that is cultured over time. Thus while single, it is vital that we begin to exercise this into our lives. You will realize that it will allow you to find balance as well.
I recently read an article titled, “7 Top Secrets to Living Single Successfully” on TwoOfUs.org that offers some sound advice. The seven steps are as follows:
- Love Yourself – Join and Exercise Program
- Treat Yourself Regularly – You Deserve It
- Open Your Heart
- Fall in Love! Adopt a Pet
- Don’t Live in Fear
- Learn to Enjoy Eating Out Alone
- Ask for Help…and 7.5. Dance!
I know each of you are capable of reading the article. Therefore, I will not go into depth. However, I will make a few comments about a few of these. Numbers one, two, and six fall right within the Care for Self component that I mentioned earlier. Not only is the gym a great community to meet other singles, but it offers you an opportunity to relieve stress. Likewise, taking yourself on a date is not as lame or corny as you think. If you can’t love yourself, you will find it hard to love someone else. Number three is important as well. While being single, our resources are more free and available to be used to enrich the lives of others. Volunteer some time and money to a worthy cause. It is also understood that those who volunteer in the community and are more civically engaged tend to make healthier relationship decisions. Number four has helped me with finding balance. Until recently, my family consisted of three dogs. Now, I live a less hectic life with seven tropical fish.
It is important to always remember that the word “single” is not synonymous with “lonely.” Until next time or until you are ready to start a relationship, continue to embrace your journey. Feel free to leave your thoughts and I look forward to sharing with you again when I write part three.
Tags: ACHMI, Charles Jackson, happiness, love, relationship, single
What's Happening at ACHMI 
September 7, 2009 at 4:34 pm |
“Hi:
Two things
1) I’d like your permission to (re)print your article on “Mad Men”
for our website
2) I was hoping we could use your ‘scribing’ talent for our website.
The Best Shows Youre Not Watching (dot) com [all one word]
‘The Clone Wars’ is one of our featured shows. We’re hoping to round up a few people who can occasionally contribute perspective (via an article/blog) on the shows – maybe a recent episode, future direction, plot shortcomings etc.
What’s in it for you?
Primarily a larger audience back channeled to your blog. We don’t pay but the site has a lot of promise and we’re pretty excited about getting it off the ground. Let me know what you think.
Thanks
September 23, 2009 at 10:27 am |
Great insight! One of the most important things I noticed after becoming single was that I did for everybody else and didn’t focus solely on what I wanted to do in life regardless of my status. I have become fearless and plan to take charge and live for me to the fullest and know that the time will come when it’s time for Mr. Right.
Me 1st!