In my last blog I mentioned how I was venturing out into the unchartered territory of dating. I had not dated for about five years—I was so busy with school that I put dating on the backburner. Well, it appears that I have been very successful in connecting with a very special guy, but who would have ever thought that he would be one of my best friends for seven years! In the back of my mind, I always thought that he would be a wonderful partner for someone, but I tried to force my mind and heart not to think of myself as that someoneJ. To be sincere, it was fear of the unknown and fearing that our friendship may be negatively altered, which kept me from thinking of us as a couple. I believe that intimate relationships require a degree of vulnerability and fearlessness. So, I am putting fear behind me and walking in the joy of allowing our relationship to naturally develop. What makes me feel very encouraged about our relationship together is the fact that it started with friendship.
Being immersed in the study of relationships, marriages, and families, I know firsthand of the importance of having a strong friendship with your significant other. I was reading for class the other day, and one of the articles indicated that a friendship is a collaborative relationship where each person is concerned about the satisfaction and success of the other (http://books.google.com/books?id=UljSHtTxTXEC&pg=PA295&lpg=PA295&dq=%22Newcomb%22+%22developmental+significance+*+children%22&source=bl&ots=N6TVTvd0_O&sig=ZjymrasSureKX2tGVV7mpr3yH-Y&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=6&ct=result#PPA291,M1). I truly believe that this defining feature of friendship should be a part of all relationships, and it is most essential for the success of romantic relationships. I truly want to see my significant other achieve greatness in his life and be happy in the process, not just because he is my significant other, but because he is also my best friend. Who would have ever thought that my special someone would be right under my noseJ!
Cassandra Kirkland
Tags: best friend, dating, Friendship, Relationships
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November 13, 2008 at 1:11 am |
I really do understand what you mean! Haha 🙂
November 20, 2008 at 10:49 am |
Hey Cassandra I completely understand!
That is how my husband and I began dating and 14 years later we are still best friends!
CR