Being raised Greek Orthodox Christian, I feel as though it’s our family’s mission to get everyone married as soon as possible. The movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” somehow relates to my life; I’m just recently back to being single and it’s my parents mission right now to find me “the one.”
Throughout my life I have always had a boyfriend or someone who I was “talking” with but they seem to never be that special someone. I am 23 years old and just got out of a pretty close relationship after realizing he was not someone I see myself spending the rest of my life with. While this was a very tough decision and difficult to overcome, I knew it was for the best since I am at the age where I need to find something serious that will last forever.
So now I’m looking for that special someone, but not just anyone. We have to know not to rush into things, not to marry someone just because we want to be married, and not just settle for just anything because we feel that’s all we are going to get. As ACHMI and research has taught me, we need to plan for the long-run of marriage rather than plan for a wedding. Today, it’s so common for people just to slide into a relationship because their friends are married or just because they need the comfort of marriage, only later to find themselves in an unhealthy relationship. We need to decide on a serious relationship that is meaningful and intended for the rest of their life. I want to find that person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, that I want to grow old with, that I know I truly feel that connection and love for, and that I will someday have kids with. I want a healthy relationship from the beginning to the end that will overcome the dominating challenge of today’s society, divorce!
Yes, sometimes people “think” they have married that special someone but soon realize later in their marriage that they truly did not know their significant other or that this is not someone they can be with for the rest of their life. Everyone wants a healthy marriage but sometimes do not act accordingly. Spend enough time together to make sure you know who this person truly is; we need to realize the qualities and attributes of that someone so that we truly know there is a lasting connection. We don’t just want to get married to someone because it “feels” right or that we think we “feel” the emotional connection. Make sure to get to know this special someone on every level (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.) so that you know who they really are.Take your time before rushing into marriage, take a premarital class to ensure that you’re ready for the serious step, and make sure you’re marrying your special someone.
Alexa Calligas
Alabama Community Healthy Marriage Initiative, Graduate Research Assistant
Tags: marriage preparation, singlehood, the "one"
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